


That River

by Lisa Martin (LisaM)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:56:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaM/pseuds/Lisa%20Martin
Summary: Sam muses.
Relationships: Sam Beckett/Al Calavicci
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	That River

__

A road without a memory of anything 

That started out as blue..* 

They say that time is like a river, flowing eternally. It touches the people that flow with it, either in a good or in a bad way. No escape possible. Once you get thrown into that river there's no way you can get out of it. I am the one exception to that rule. 

I have wanted to be that exception from a very early age on. Kick time in the butt, as Al would say, has been my main goal for many, many years. It took a Nobel prize and endless meetings with the Government committee to make that dream come true. 

Now it's no longer a dream, it's reality and it is becoming a burden. My own fault, I admit it, I was the one that **had** to prove I was right. I could make up all kind of excuses but I know most of them aren't valid. True, the Government wanted to cut the funding, but I could have waited for Al to return from that party. He was going there for the sole reason to get money. I never knew if he got it, nor do I know how he manages to get funding at the moment. Asking him won't do any good; he will probably come up with some story, if he answers me at all. It's his way of protecting me, but sometimes it drives me crazy. 

I sometimes wonder if he resents me for what I have done. There have been no signs that he does, but that's Al. At least, I think it's him. I don't recall what he was like before I started leaping. A few scattered memories are all I have from him. Pieces of a life I can not remember. It's more the feelings that I can recall, not the actual events. 

It's time for me to leap again; I can already feel the pull at my insides. The road goes on. 

__

I cannot leave this river… 

The landing is almost instantly this time, no silence, no peaceful interlude. From the body of a young Elvis to..to..someone else's in a second. It has never happened like this before and my body feels like it's being turned inside out. I take a few moments to get my breath back, luckily I seem to have the time to do that. A dull ache remains, creeping into my bones. I feel weary, strung out. It's like my body is trying to tell that it has been enough, that it can't take this leaping any longer. Well, tell me something I don't know! If I could figure out a way to get back into my own time I would do it. Right now. But I can't. Time, Fate, God or Whatever won't let me go. It (or he or she) has created a special river for me, a river that crosses the rivers of other people. It intersects with those rivers when necessary, flowing away from them when I've completed my job. My only hope is that it will intersect with my own river again someday. 

Bowing to the inevitable, I take in my surroundings and find myself standing in front of a door. I peek inside through the glass, and realize that behind that door lies a diner, or a bar. It's empty. Pushing the door open, I enter, figuring I can at least have a drink before Al shows up. I mean, what can happen in an empty bar, right? 

The bar has mirrors behind the counter. Good, a perfect way to see what I look like this time. A shock hits my system when I look at my mirror image. I touch my face tentatively, unable to believe what I'm seeing. It's me. 

__

I will not leave this river without you…. 

Al thinks I have gone over the deep end. Oh, he tries to reassure me, as always, but I can see it in his eyes. He is confused and more than a little worried. Not that I can blame him, for being confused that is, because this whole leap baffles me as well. Yet, I know there is a meaning to this whole madness. It is slowly becoming clear to me that this is a turning point, that things are going to change. Time is pushing me in another direction; the river changes its flow. I know it is time. 

Yet, before the river takes me to other, unknown places and times, there is an obstacle I have to clear away, a rock in the river that has to be removed. The bartender tells me I can do that, that I can control anything I do. I'm not sure if I believe him, but I have to try. I will not leave this river before I have done that. 

He has to go on without me from now on, and I want to make sure that he is happy. There is only one way to assure that that will happen. Then why do I hesitate? 

__

No one ever loved that river the way I love you… 

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am going to leave someone behind, someone who means the world to me. He kept me sane, safe, throughout these last few years. Every time he appeared, some part of my own life came back to me. He's been a lifeline, an anchor, a friend…the one I love more than anything. Yes, it has finally filtered through in my muddled brain, he's the one I love, the one I will love forever. There's only one more thing I ask before I leap again; that I will remember him. 

I get no answer, I didn't expect one. Closing my eyes, I try to recall his face and am very glad that it comes easily to me. He will stay there, if not in my mind then in my heart. 

*"That River"…..words and music by Eric Johnson From the CD "That River" by Jim Byrnes. 

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End file.
